Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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