Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
