is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
