Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
