I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
