I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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