She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hippo gnu deer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
