You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
