he shaved USA in his pubs
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
