If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
