Do vagina's smell?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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