Can i not drive my cunt home
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
