You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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