dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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