Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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