sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All the doctor said was why
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
