Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
