I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I supernannyed him into submission
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
