Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
