Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When are your genitals available?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
