we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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