i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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