2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
