Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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