I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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