If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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