Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
