The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
