So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
