New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
