we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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