then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
