And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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