She said her name was "party"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
