"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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