Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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