Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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