ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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