dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
