Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
