No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is my gift to your gina
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
