He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
