Its about making memories worth repressing
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
