You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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