It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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