lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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