this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
