This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
