I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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