If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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