She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
