Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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