i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
