My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
