Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
